In the past I have lived with the two sided coin of faith/doubt. I know from experience I can live as a faithful person and still struggle with doubts. These days I am living as a very hopeful and hope-filled person, but at the same time I do struggle with despair that my loved one's release from pain and suffering continues day in and day out. As his full time caregiver, I am confident of being able to do what I need to with medications and other medical related issues his daily care requires--none of that makes me fearful, and the hospice nurses are very good with directions, but I do despair. The sadness and pain that I feel in some moments of this long waiting does not take away my hope for his final healing. While I am not someone who uses the "victory over death" language often, I am a Christian and I trust that when death comes there will be release and healing, and therefore I can say, "victory over cancer" for him--he will at last be at peace and have new life, and that "victory over death".
I will also point out, just for the record, that as I disagree with the thesaurus putting "lack of faith" as a synonym for the word doubt, I am equally disagreeable that the first synonym listed in my thesaurus (may be different in others) for despair is "hopelessness."
I will also just note for the record that the devotion I read this morning was based on Jeremiah 29:11 "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD...to give you a future with hope." Two strong passages on hope--a good way to being February.